Source: The Atlantic, 7/2024
Retirement can be mixed bag: Some folks are thrilled about the endless freedom to do whatever, whenever. But for others, the freedom of retirement can be pretty stressful—about 28% of retirees end up dealing with depression.1
If you’re feeling anxious about retirement or it’s not living up to your expectations, think about your “mattering factor.” I’ve spent decades researching this and found that feeling like you matter is key to a happy retirement.
Why Mattering’s So Critical
I discovered the concept of mattering when reading a study2 about teenage boys and delinquency. They found that boys who felt they mattered to their parents, teachers, and school were less likely to get into trouble compared to those who felt unimportant.
Interestingly, the researchers made an unexpected observation about retirement. They suggested that one major problem with retirement is the feeling of no longer mattering to others. While retirement offers a break from work, it can also lead to a sense of not being needed, making life feel less meaningful. For example, I interviewed Jules, a DC police officer who retired from a fulfilling career. He said, “I turned in my badge and that was that.” He moved to another state and took a few part-time jobs, but the work was menial and made him realize he missed the camaraderie, variety, and positive impact of his former job.
The Sudden Change, Feeling Like He Didn’t Matter Anymore, And Struggling To Adjust Left Him Really Frustrated
This frustration turned inward and led to depression. Eventually, a family member helped Jules find a meaningful job as an assistant manager at an exclusive resort. Feeling like he mattered again, Jules says the job saved his life.
Retirees who feel like they no longer matter after leaving work might experience something similar. Losing a sense of purpose and social connections can be tough, leading to feelings of frustration and loneliness. This can spiral into depression, anxiety, or even physical issues such as high blood pressure. Without feeling like they matter, it can be hard for retirees to stay motivated and engaged, which can affect their overall health and happiness. Understanding the importance of mattering is crucial, especially as you transition into retirement. Let’s explore how you can assess your own “Mattering Factor” and ensure you maintain a sense of purpose and connection.
5 Criteria to Assess Your Mattering Factor
It might seem straightforward to gauge whether someone feels like they matter and are relevant, but there are 5 key aspects of mattering.
Exercise: Assess Your Mattering Factor
Evaluating your mattering factor is pretty easy. Just answer yes or no to the five aspects of based on how you feel. If you have two or more “nos,” you may need to strengthen your mattering factor. When you think about it, you might realize that you already feel like you matter a lot, which is great. But if you think your mattering factor could use a boost, remember that you have the power to improve it, enhance your sense of significance, and find greater happiness.
